West of Loathing wander events/Region D (2024)

TypeEncounterConditionsNon-Combat OptionsCombat Option

You spot a guy riding down the road on a brown horse, wearing a brown fur hat, and carrying a brown shopping bag with a brown loaf of stolen bread sticking out the top. (You can tell it's stolen, because the bag has a little picture of a loaf of bread on it.)

He rides up and brandishes a great big loaf of bread at you.

One-time

Surrender[noDarkHorse]
gain Angry
Run away[DarkHorse]
continue travel
Threaten him right back[Intimidatin'3]
gain 20 - 22 XP
Offer him infinite bread[Outfoxin'3]
gain hard loaf
+ 20 - 22 XP
Frighten him away[Hornswogglin'3]
gain 20 - 22 XP


Fight him
Bad guys	a big tough bandit
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	hard loaf

Argh! Grblah! Aieee!

A ranting, flailing man that has just burst out of the woods and is running straight for you. He's wearing a strange dome-shaped metal hat, which bristles with wires and odd protrusions that crackle intermittently with bright blue sparks.

He seems... upset?

One-time

Cringe[noDarkHorse]
gain Angry
Get the heck away[DarkHorse]
continue travel
Frighten him off[Intimidatin'3]
gain 20 - 22 XP
Try to calm him down and examine his hat[Outfoxin'3]
gain crazy electric helmet (optional with Crazy Pete)
+ 20 - 22 XP
Trick him into taking off the hat[Hornswogglin'3]
gain crazy electric helmet (optional with Crazy Pete
+ 20 - 22 XP


Fight this crazy guy
Bad guys	a strangely-helmeted lunatic
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	crazy electric helmet

Hold it right there.

A bandit steps out of the bushes at the side of the road. He's pretty raggedy, but also extremely burly -- like a scarecrow stuffed with footballs. He hefts a pistol that could be described as a "hand cannon" without getting metaphorical.

Gimme yer dough. Uh, or else.

One-time

Surrender[noDarkHorse]
gain Angry
Run away[DarkHorse]
continue travel
Intimidate him[Intimidatin'3]
gain 40 - 50 meat
+ intimidating sixgun
+20 - 22 XP
Scold him[Outfoxin'3]
gain 20 - 22 XP
Hornswoggle him[Hornswogglin'3]
gain 40 - 50 meat
+ 20 - 22 XP
Do you know who I am? [Breadwoodreputation]
gain 40 - 50 meat
+ intimidating sixgun
+30 - 32 XP


Fight him
Bad guys	a Breadwood highwayman
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	intimidating sixgun

∗

As <horsename> carefully navigates a bunch of weird rock formations, everything suddenly goes silent.

Everything except the racing of your pulse, that is, because you've stumbled across a horrifying ungulith!

Repeatable

Bow before it[noDarkHorse]
gain Angry
Escape![DarkHorse]
continue travel


Attack!
Bad guys	an ungulith
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	ungulith horn 1-2 of menudo geode infernal soul fragment brass bull ring

∗

You see a flash of light in a dark copse of trees off to the side of the trail, and smell the tang of ozone.

Three electrified cow skulls float out of the woods and surround you.

Repeatable

Hide under <horsename>[noDarkHorse]
gain Angry
Bolt away[DarkHorse]
continue travel


Attack them
Bad guys	an electrified cow skull an electrified cow skull an electrified cow skull
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	cow fangs 1 of infernal soul fragment brass bull ring

There's a goblin standing off to one side of the trail, just staring up at the sky. They don't even seem to notice you approaching.One-time

Try to communicate with it[noGoblintongue]
gain moon bits
+ 20 - 22 XP
Have Gary deal with it[Gary]
gain moon bits
+ 30 - 32 XP
Take their moon rocks[Intimidatin'3]
gain moon bits
+ 20 - 22 XP
Educate the goblin[Outfoxin'3]
gain moon bits
+ 20 - 22 XP
Sell them some more "moon rocks"[Hornswogglin'3]
gain 18 - 28 meat
+ 20 - 22 XP
Leave it alone
continue travel


Attack the goblin
Bad guys	a goblin moon weirdo
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	moon bits

You encounter a goblin chef out harvesting produce. By which I mean "knocking lumps off a cactus". It gives you some real side-eye when it sees you.One-time

Leave the goblin be[noDarkHorse]
continue travel
Ride away quickly[DarkHorse]
continue travel
Have Gary deal with it[Gary]
gain 30 - 32 XP
Intimidate them[Intimidatin'3]
gain 20 - 22 XP
Make a suggestion[Outfoxin'3]
gain kitchen pants
+ 20 - 22 XP
Trick them out of their lumps[Hornswogglin'3]
gain 20 - 22 XP


Attack the goblin
Bad guys	a goblin chef
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	kitchen pants

A goblin is wandering along the path, muttering and ranting out loud to itself.One-time

Talk to them[Goblintongue]
unlock Breadwood
+ conversation continues
Ride away[noGoblintongue]
continue travel
Have Gary deal with it[Gary]
gain 30 - 32 XP
Threaten them[Intimidatin'3]
gain Breadwood cheat sheet
+20 - 22 XP
Teach them some new swears[Outfoxin'3]
gain Breadwood cheat sheet
+ 20 - 22 XP
Teach them some fake swears[Hornswogglin'3]
gain Breadwood cheat sheet
+ 20 - 22 XP
Leave the goblin be
continue travel


Attack the goblin
Bad guys	a foul-mouthed goblin
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	Breadwood cheat sheet

∗

A clacking, hissing sound draws your attention to a skeleton limping out of the shadows. He/She's wearing the dry-rotted tatters of an old army jacket, and is so full of bullet-holes that he/she's more a skeleton-shaped cloud of hovering bone splinters than a skeleton. He/She must have what they call "true grit".One-time

Surrender[noDarkHorse]
gain Angry
Run away[DarkHorse]
continue travel
Intimidate them[Intimidatin'3]
gain coccyx with a hole in it
+ 20 - 22 XP
Outfox them[Outfoxin'3]
gain coccyx with a hole in it
+ 20 - 22 XP
Hornswoggle them[Hornswogglin'3]
gain 20 - 22 XP


Fight him/her
Bad guys	a shot-to-Hell skeleton
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	coccyx with a hole in it 2 - 3 skull chips

∗

Well, here's a thing out of nightmares. Maybe not your nightmares specifically, but definitely someone's: a human skeleton scuttling toward you, crackling with blue electricity and making a loud hissing noise that sounds like a cross between a nest of angry rattlesnakes and a broken radio.One-time

Surrender[noDarkHorse]
gain Angry
Run away[DarkHorse]
continue travel
Scare it away[Intimidatin'3]
gain 20 - 22 XP
Bust out some science[Outfoxin'3]
gain vibrating scapula
+ 20 - 22 XP
Lasso that sucker[Hornswogglin'3]
gain 20 - 22 XP


Fight 'em
Bad guys	an electrified skeleton
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	vibrating scapula

∗

You hear the crack of a rifle, and a lead bee buzzes past your ear. (I call bullets "lead bees" sometimes.)

Off in the distance, you see a skeleton with a rifle. It looks like he/she's lining up another shot.

One-time

Insult his/her shooting[Intimidatin'3]
gain 20 - 22 XP
Challenge his/her abilities[Outfoxin'3]
gain 20 - 22 XP
Duck and weave[Hornswogglin'3]
gain antique rangefinder
+ 20 - 22 XP
Run away
continue travel


Fight 'em
Bad guys	a skeletal rifleman
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	antique rangefinder

A ghostly spectre in the form of an old, wild-haired man shambles toward you, muttering.Repeatable [PaleHorse]

Surrender[noDarkHorse]
gain Angry
Run away[DarkHorse]
continue travel
Give him the bottle of ghost whiskey[bottle of ghost whiskey]
gain ghost ring


Fight it
Bad guys	a drunk ghost
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	bit of ectoplasm

∗

You pass by two skeletons, who are facing each other with their arms akimbo in the traditional shootout staredown pose.

When you stop to watch what happens, they both turn to look at you. Whoops.

Repeatable

Surrender[noDarkHorse]
gain Angry
Run away[DarkHorse]
continue travel


Fight them
Bad guys	a skeletal rifleman a skeletal rifleman
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	2-3 of skeleton bone skull chips handful of loose teeth 50% chance of gold tooth

∗

You hear the crackle of a north-south-western lightning snake! Too bad you don't have a forked lightning rod with you.

... Wait, that wouldn't work at all, would it?

Repeatable

Whistle for <horsename>[DarkHorse]
continue travel
Surrender
gain Angry


Fight it anyway
Bad guys	an electrified snake
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	1-2 of snake liver snake spleen snake venom bladder
	Venom: 2 - 3 Medicine: 2 - 3
Skins	electric snakeskin

∗

Your transponder bleeps, and the signal leads to one of those El Vibrato robots, which is basically just doing aimless doughnuts around a forest clearing.Repeatable [El Vibrato transponder]

Leave it alone
continue travel


Approach it
Bad guys	an El Vibrato construct
XP (kill)	30 - 32
Drops	2 - 3 El Vibrato scraps 30% chance of El Vibrato battery 20% chance of El Vibrato keystone

West of Loathing wander events/Region D (2024)

References